I wonder if it was a hint that I’m getting dotty.
By Sue Ricketts
I thought about the 10 year business I ran with 18 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook , so my three kids, their spouses, my grandkids, etc. could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as
Twitter with only 140 characters of space. That was before one of my friends hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific, Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in my purse – often when I’m nowhere near it.
I won a GPS at a seminar on time management. I guess they thought I got lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under the dash with the Blue tooth (it’s red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and my ears started to itch while wearing it and I ended up with that lying around somewhere. I’m just not exactly certain where somewhere is. Besides I feel really silly walking around talking to people when I’m all alone. That attracts stares from passers-by.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dashboard, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-cal-cu-la-ting”. You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I pull out my tattered old map book and tell her the name of the cross streets and Gypsy, the GPS lady, tries again.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. That doesn’t even mention the joy of re-programming those @#($* phones. I can never remember which buttons to push.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves, but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, “No, but I do toot a lot.”
PS I know some of you are not over 50 but I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are.







